Favorite Classical Music Bloopers (April Fool’s Special)

by | Apr 1, 2009 | Special Features | 0 comments

Favorite Classical Music Bloopers

Bloopers in Student Reports of Concerts • Courtesy “Spike’s Music Humor” Site

* Once the band was ready to start they came out of the curtain in an orderly fashion to begin the concert. 

* On occasion, the two would make eye contact, just to make sure they were still together. This showed me that they were completely concentrated… 

Earlier Bloopers 

* There was something good too about the dress that they were wearing. The trombone players in the back had their jackets off so their collard shirts were showing, and this seemed to add a lot of color to the stage. 

* I also felt as though the last piece was an excellent way to end the concert. It left the audience with a sense of resolution and completeness because of its absolved finale. 

* Fortunately, Handel came after the [contemporary piece], and in his stately manor he restored order with his Organ Concerto in G Minor, Op. 4 No. 3. 

* The performance was formal. The conductor bowed before most of the time. 

* The concert started with [the Coriolan Overture] by Beethoven. The music was slower and seemed dark. There were often spots where dissidence dominated the song. 

* For the most part I enjoyed the more upbeat songs [Jazz Ens]. They gave a more "Beep Bop" flavor to the audience and livened the crowd. The best piece during the entire show…was a piece called "Channel One Suite" written by Bill Reddie and translated by Davis. [The program listed the composer as Bill Reddie/trans. Davis]. 

* I was truly able to understand the appreciate the hard work that the choral precipitants put into preparing for this concert. 

* The…Auditorium was completely full…At one point I even heard one of the ushers ask a group of girls to leave because they were sitting in the aisle and were a fire hazard. 

* The men’s voices were deep and constant during part and the ladies’ voices were coming through in brief exerts. 

* The seats were packed on this night. [One ensemble] sounded out of practice sometimes when some performers would chime in too early, or chime out noticeably late. 

* When I arrived the band was warming up. When they were warm a single oboe played walked out… 

* [Beethoven] lived solely for writing music, and it seemed to everyone that Beethoven only cared about this, and only this. 

* The Theatre is set up so that there are many seats on the floor, some that are very close to the stage and others that are farther away. 

* To end the concert the [choir] came out and performed pieces of Messiah. 

* My absolute favorite piece of music was Riverdance; I could not stop tapping my foot to the beat. I could almost see them clogging their feet up on stage. 

* I preferred the piece by Mozart, although because of this class I have come to realize that I am a fan of his. His music touches nerve endings. 

* The band played with the Hyatt Hotel behind them and a beer vender in front of them. This I found to be very interesting because it was giving you the best of both worlds… 

* It was a first for both of us to experience live jazz music. It was a family atmosphere with an exception of one naked drunk, but that’s expected anywhere, right? 

* The audience varied from young families with toddlers running around to old couples. There were even some alternative people enjoying the show. 

* [Regarding an outdoor pops concert]: There was, what I thought was a rather large audience, of mainly older people gathered with picnic baskets and lawn chairs. It was almost like tailgating for a football game with a little less beer. 

* The band was working well together (due in part to their good chemistry). 

* The energy of the performers carried me, along with the rest of the crowd, away. 

* They were arranged with the percussion in the back, brass were in front of them, then the woodwinds, and then the string instrument were in the front of the stage. In the front center, was the pulpit for the conductor. 

* The general musical impressions of the concert, was that there were a lot of groups who sang together in a large group where I could hear, especially, the varying degrees of musical tone. The altos were clearly distinguished; the sopranos had high pretty voices. 

* This concert was definitely more than what I planned to expect. I laughed and awed. 

* [The soloist] was dressed in black paints and a bright yellow shirt with flowers on it. 

* The last two selections that were played were a good bit shorter, and were not on the program…This was his anchor. 

* Between groups someone would come out and adjust the music stands to fit the musicians. 

* [The soloist] was entertaining to watch on stage as the music absorbed him. 

* I sat in the balcony so that I could look down on the performers… 

* [Refering to the tuba in the orchestra] I had never seen an upright sousaphone before. 

* I placed myself in front of the small audience so I could be the first to absorb the music. 

* The second piece was the Trumpet Concerto in E-flat by Haydn…According to the program this piece was extremely new when it was first composed. 

* The main section involved in the this piece was the brass section. The trumpets would play interchangeably with the muffling bell stuffers. 

* In fact, it had to be my favorite song in the whole program, which left me leaving in a very positive mood and leaving them with a very long standing ovation. 

* They kept the crowd involved in the concert by making them clap along with the music… 

* The stage was set with the conductor’s back to the audience, and the members of the orchestra curved around the edges… 

* [The song by the Gospel Choir] was slightly different in that they swayed whatever way they wanted and added lib when they wanted to. 

* This piece had an overally jazzy, jammy beat to it. 

* The audience mainly consisted of older people who were casually wearing their shorts and tennis shoes. 

* Dr. B played the piano and her husband Dr. B played both the saxophone and the soprano saxophone. Both instruments were of equal importance. One instrument could not survive without the other. 

* Dr. B [saxophonist] explained to us the technique of multiphonics and key clicks. Multiphonics is the use of two notes to make a ruff sound. 

* I also liked the surprise piece…I think the title was Burglar’s Holiday. 

* The third piece by Shubert was long and dramatic. It seemed to go on forever. Oddly though, this piece was unfinished. Therefore, it was ironic that it seemed to go on and on. 

* Though I could not relate to the pieces that were being played I found myself actually bopping my head and tapping my feet to them. 

* In the program it states that Marquez is a Mexican composer and in this work he decided to give it a Latin flavor. [Actually, the program states: "This work…has a decided Latin flavor to it] 

* As the selection ended followed by a round of applause, I made my way up to the up to the balcony. I found that I had a fantastic aerial view of the orchestra. 

* On November 24, 1998, I attended the Symphonic Orchestra fall concert at the Brooks Center. The Brooks Center Auditorium was packed with a delightful audience. 

* The types of rhythms, strokes, dynamics, and usage of the symbols created that Latin dance style which would make some of the people around me pat their feet or swing their legs (if crossed). 

* The men were doing flips and jumps, and the women were dancing in ways you would never expect from an Old Testament story [regarding a performance of Joseph and his Technocolor Dreamcoat] 

* [Handel’s Water Music] makes you want to dance a little jug. 

* The B Sharps [small vocal ensemble] had a more laid back repertoire and were dressed in cacti paints and shirts and ties. 

* Several of their songs required them to slide from one note to the next, which added flare. 

* [Women’s Glee] This sound was a bright, less mature sound. I think a good women’s piece is hard to find. 

* [The Concert Band] also played two contemporary pieces.. .I was full of dissonance. 

* The one I liked the most was the Waltz: If You Would Ever Be Mine. I recognized the piece but couldn’t put a name on it. 

* I like [Hoedown] because it made me feel like rustling up some cattle and eating a big juicy steak. 

* New music does not have the same timeless qualities as what we traditionally consider the classics. I do think it was good however, for the conductor to introduce us to new music like this, rather than just stinking to the same old things. 

* The stage was set with a piano, guitar and the bass drum in the back center; the saxophones were on their right front; the trumpets and trombones were on the left fromt; and the conductor’s stand was dead in the front center. 

* My favorite piece was "Tango Solitaria." Claudio wrote this and it was odious that he loved every minute of playing this song. 

* Another song I liked was the Suite from Water Music [arr. by Harty]. It was neat because it started off by using the instruments that the piece was originally composed for…This made the music actually sound like the musicians were playing underwater. 

* The fifth [piece] was Suite from Water Music. The original composer was Handel and the next composer was Harty. 

* I am officially turned on to Jazz. 

* By closing with [the 1812 Overture] the ensemble lifted the audience, and gave them a great ending to a great concert. 

* The musicians seemed very prepared and well-rehearsed. They were all wearing either tuxedos or a black dress, depending on their gender. 

* The trumpets are blaring. The saxophones and trombones are whaling. 

* [A male student writes]: The person I went to see the play with was Karen. She is just a friend, unfortunately, and she was delighted to go. 

* [Regarding a musical] I also know the guy who did the sets and many other performers. 

* [Regarding a string quartet] The stage was set up in a simple manner with four chairs in a semi-circle with four music stands in front of each chair. 

* The auditorium was very nice and I was impressed with the lighting and atmosphere, maybe because my boyfriend is an electrician. 

* The Haydn piece [string quartet] was nice, but not very moving or memorable. I understand that that is one characteristic of classical music . . . 

* I found most of the audience into the works that the quartet played. You saw a lot of head bopping and so forth that expressed the audience’s enjoyment of the music. 

* The mood of the audience was also rather formal. Proper etiquette was expected from everyone. Many of those who attended wore their Sunday best. There was even a fur sitting in the row in front of me. 

* Notes were not the only elements used to produce the right sound of the music, but body language also added a flare to the performance. 

* [The string quartet]’s energy was overwhelming, so powerful in fact, that two of the four broke strings on their boughs. 

* I took a good friend of mine to this concert, who was also a girl 

* The acoustics [for the Choral Concert] were great. Everything that flowed from the singers’ mouths was crystal clear. 

* When the performance was over there was a reception with cookies and juice in which the audience could mingle with the performers. 

* Overall, I found the concert wonderful. I have not seen many orchestras other than the [local professional] Orchestra so I was very impressive. 

* The performers came out with smiles and bows in their white-tie tuxedos. 

* Promptly at 8pm the [members of the piano trio] entered the stage. Three men dressed in penguins suits…oh wait, a lady? There are four of them? I later realized the lady was not the Trio’s go-go girl, but there to help the piano player with the turning of his music. 

* The audience was conservative and well-reserved. 

* The musicians instilled a suffering to the work that made you feel as if you were suffering yourself. 

* The audience seemed a little lacking. There were not many people there . . . 

* The pianist was very dramatic. Everything he did had a flair to it. I enjoyed watching his hands sweep the keys. 

* The performers could play each piece with very intense emotion, but the last piece did not seem to have very deep emotions. The contents of the last piece gave me the impression of music for musicºs sake and that was the only reason it was written. 

* The soprano soloist wore a beautiful green velvet dress, the mezzo-soprano a black pant suit, and both the tenor and bass wore a tuxedo. 

* The members of [the ensemble] were all very talented musicians, and they well-deserved every cheer and applaud that they received. 

* It gave me a warm, rich feeling and played with my heart’s strings. 

* As the concert continued, the Concertino and Brandenburg Concert No. 4 pieces became long and winded to an inexperienced classical music listener. 

* There were a number of students [in the audience], and I think most of them sat in the balcony. They were very well behaved, which surpised me, because I knew a few of them. 

* [The piano duo] performed five different Hungarian Dances with lots of flair and flavor. 

* The concert in my opinion was a great success for many of reason. 

* I went to the Jazz Ensemble Concert Friday night…The place was full of people aging from very young to old. 

* The piano part was full of "twills". This characteristic gave it a rich and prestigious quality; like it was being played for aristocrats. 

* The conductor stood on a slightly elevated platform and wore a black tuxedo. The musicians wore black tuxedos or dresses depending on whether the person was male or female. (Males wore the tuxedos). 

* I was extremely impressed by the musicians’ appearances and their performances did nothing to expel my expectations. 

* This was my first concert experience at this particular venue. Initially I was impressed by the full capacity of people who were in attendance. 

* Observing from the audience I saw many things that the musicians did to keep on track of the music. One noticeable thing was the taping of the musicians feet to stay on beat. 

* The stage was set up just like the rehearsal room with the conductor centered. 

* The last work of the concert was very peppy, and kind of displayed a little Christmas spirit because jingle bells were used in it. 

* I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was surprised to hear a wide variety of music from all over the world, including different ethnics. 

* The ensemble played their instruments after each main verse was completed. This took skill and had to take a lot out of their lungs. 

* As I walked into the Brooks Center on November 28 to see the performance of the Clemson University Symphony Orchestra, the place seemed to be filled with electricity. 

* The musicians are all on the stage circling around the conductor stand. 

* The fifth piece, English Fold Song Suite, well, was defiantly English. The final piece, Overture to Russlan and Ludmilla, was a great choice for a final piece. It had a huge finish which became the grand finally of the concert. 

* [The piano soloist] played with such grace and style it was if she wwere gently pawing the keys. 

* If [the string quartet] had been a larger group, they would have needed a conductor to be the leader and visual aid. However, with such a small group, they did not kneed one. 

* The auditorium was decorated with three tapestries [acoustical banners] hanging from each side of the left and right walls. The mustered yellow tapestry caught my attention as it stuck out from the rest. As I was walking up to the Theater, I noticed a lot of elderly people. They were everywhere…I thought I had entered the Lawrence Welk Twilight Zone. 

* She has an amazing voice and talent to offer. ..It made me feel incredibly warm and sensitive. 

* Then it became polyphonic as the choir broke up into three parts and sang overlapping one another. 

* Although the concert was long it didn’t seem to be that long. I also liked the way the pieces were different. They were not all banging on the piano, or music that would put you to sleep, they were a good combination of the two. 

* Right away I recognized Finlandia by Sibelius and thought it provided for a grand finnish. 

* Overall, I really enjoyed this concert. Although this concert did not follow the regular concert pattern, I liked it very much. I felt that the conductor did a wonderful job keeping the audience interested and exploiting his peformers. 

* The final piece [Gershwin’s] Second Rhapsody was the only song that I had heard before the concert and I felt that it was entirely to repetitious. However, I did enjoy what she accomplished with the altercations of this piece. 

* It was pretty amazing to see how low the bass soloist could actually get when he sung. 

* One odd thing that struck me was that most of the orchestra was female… It did nothing to subtract from the quality of the concert, however. 

* There were many works and each of them were their own length. 

* The amount of lung power needed to play the flute is incredible but I think well worth it. 

* One thing that I did find funny about the conductors [of the choirs] was that they acted like a host or hostist from The Price Is Right showing off a new car after each song was completed. 

* …and the Chamber Singers used several percussion instruments to add an African flare to one of the spirituals they performed. 

* From the crowd of much older people, I had the impression that the concert was not for me. Once the concert began, I was more acceptable to the music than I thought I would be. 

* The conductor stood front-center of the singers and alternated between a man and a woman. 

* I enjoyed certain parts of this concert and had to bare the other parts. 

* The crowd consisted mostly of faculty and older community citizens, but there was a decent amount of the student body represented. 

* The trumpets were brilliant, deep, and warm. The trombones gave a nasal and raspy feeling to the listener. 

* When I walked into the auditorium it was breath taking. I had a great sit too, row K sit 101…The room still had a new smell to it when I walked in, but that quickly changed after a couple of women sat down in front of me. 

* The performance was much better than I expected and I’m actually glad that we are required to go to these performances because now I know what I am missing. 

* The tone color varied with each solo. First a trumpet played with a muffler for a forced, heavy sound. 

* The person next to me kept taping his foot to the beat of the music! 

* I’m glad I chose to attend the viola concert of Wednesday night…I realize the more music I subject myself to, the more I may realize I like music. 

* The audience was older and more appreciative of this style of music, giving standing ovations at times, which further enhanced the excitement in the air. Hence, my emotional drive fluctuated… 

* A musician enters and transforms the stillness into something alive that has the ability to capture the imagination of every ear within hearing distance. 

* Getting the concert off to a good start, the announcer said to be sure and enjoy some refreshments at halftime, of course he meant to say during the recession, this was too funny not to include. 

* The first variation is virtuously the same except that the tempo picks up. 

* As [the pianist] approached the climax of the piece, he became engrossed into the piano. 

* As a student, it is easy to think of faculty members as nonhuman members of society. 

* Once [the string quartet] started to play I was shocked at how much they moved around in the chairs. They were not just playing the music they were felling the music through their whole bodies. 

* This was a lot harder for me than describing the music on the tests because I only heard things once. I was writing really fast in the dark so when I got home I couldn’t read most of what I had written. Next time I’ll take a flashlight. 

* There was one particular incident that made the performance hard to concentrate on. The screaming child, whom I’m sure everyone was annoyed by, unfortunately happened to be sitting directly behind me. The child must have been bored and decided to explore. His head got caught underneath the seat next to me where my friend Christy was sitting. The little boy started screaming and that made everything worse. A man who apparently worked with the concert seemed to increase the noise. I’m sure he was trying to solve the situation but he really handled it all wrong. He dove on the floor in front of my seat, screamed at the scared boy, and literally dragged him out of the auditorium. All of this was going on in the middle of a performance, but the women on stage didn’t seem to notice and went on with the piece as usual. 

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